Making Fun of Keenan

These are just miscellaneous secrets that I had trouble catogorizing. My favorite is “I wish I was cool enough to have my own tumblr.” It’s true, without me this tumblr would be HORRIBLE. Keenan isn’t funny.

A prime example of how despicably disgusting Keenan really is.

These are postsecrets related to Keenan’s various illegal activities. There were a LOT to choose from in this section.

I call this great specimen of Keenan’s creativity “Keenan is legitamtely an idiot.” Do y’all now understand what I have to deal with?

So apparently Keenan writes to postsecret often yet never sends any postcards in. Instead he keeps a hefty stack of them hiding beneath his my little pony collection. Here’s a sneak peek of just a few of my favorites from the collection (believe me there was a plethera to choose from.) I’m going to try and group them by general theme. I call this one Keenan’s many attractions.

A Keenan inspired cake. Maybe one day his skills will be good enough to make this as an apology to me.

He’s slowly getting better. It’s a long process though. Apparently Wompell really likes Dora the Explorer and Twilight, can’t say I’m all that surprised. Dora looks a little “emberazada.” Secretly I think Keenan likes boys who sparkle too.

So last night I decided to surprise Keenan for his birthday so I snuck through his back door. Immediately apon arrival I discovered the most shocking thing ever. Keenan is an avid baker, or at least he’s trying to be. Apparently Wompell’s birthday (check a few posts ago) is really close to his so he’s been trying to perfect his baking so he can make her the “perfect cake.” Here was his first attempt.

Keenan refused to explain this one to me, he said if I don’t understand it immediately, I simply won’t get it. He told me that a real artist doesn’t require explanation. When I kindly reminded me he wasn’t a real artist, he asked me if I wanted my face to look like the one in the picture because he can make that happen. Threaten much?

Keenan takes a shot at portraits. I think the sad baby is especially creepy but at least he’s starting to add life into their eyes.

So apparently Keenan’s new gf (check my last post) has imspired him to “express his creative talents through artwork” *roll eyes now.* He’s starting a sketchbook. This one is of Wompell’s first true love, her cat (one of dozens) Sir Pudding Wubsy Nathaniel Francis III (pretentious much?)

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF? What TV show did she try out for, Ugly Betty? Brunette pegasus hair? Did he mean the scraggly facial hair engrossing her double chin and four whole teeth? I think Keenan can do a bit better (though my sister saw the picture and said she thought Wompell looked way out of Keenan’s league.) Good luck to them both, those are going to be hella ugly children.

Wompell: the mystery girl, REVEALED!

Keenan said that he’s going to send me a picture he took of her (she doesn’t have a facebook, I checked). Is it weird that I’m actually kind of excited? I mean he talks NONSTOP about her so I think I deserve to see the poor girl after hearing literally EVERYTHING about her— she has a birthmark shaped like asparagus on her elbow— so I can’t wait! I’ll show it immediately!

He drew a picture of her! He says he’s having trouble capturing all of her natural beauty (I think it’s the shading and the lack of life in her eyes) but love conquers all and he said she LOVED it. I admit he’s no artist but at least he’s trying. Love makes people do stupid things.

Wompell Inspired Poetry

KEENAN WROTE A POEM ABOUT HER!!!! LOLOLOLOLOL

My darling dearest

I feel so speacial

When you are nearest

And I want to put an emphasis

On your lavishing locks

That remind me of a Pegasus

Your eyes! Oh how they shine

I am so glad

That they are all mine

You make me fall in love with you

Because whenever I sneeze

You always say bless you

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL